Sunday, January 31, 2010

1950s Wedding Etiquette


Recently I happened upon a wedding booklet specifically geared towards women in the 1950s. It gives helpful suggestions on engagement, announcements, choosing colors & proper attire for a wedding. I cannot help but share quotations from this booklet and comment on what I think is appropriate for our day and age.

After reading through it I began to wonder if the themes and traditions of the 1950s are too outdated or if they are still appropriate for modern brides. I believe that as a bride, one must embrace both tradition and freedom of expression. Strike a compromise between two worlds. The world of yesterday and the world of today. This blog is intended to help young brides, mothers of the bride, helpful friends, or those who are simply interested in the process. I also intend to post vintage wedding photos here on a regular basis to provide a visual picture of the "ideal bride"....

Do not get me wrong. I believe that weddings are not always ideal. But they do provide one with a glimpse into our traditions, fashion, and customs.

Below is a quote directly out of a booklet entitled "My Wedding" copyright 1952 from Brown & Bigelow Publishing, St. Paul Minnesota. It was put together by Foster and Little, Inc. A bridal consultant business in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma.

It begins with an explanation of how to use this little booklet, it encourages the bride to use this booklet faithfully through all the weeks of planning. On page 3 it begins, of course, with wedding etiquette. For those not familiar with the word etiquette, as it has become increasingly uncommon in 2010:

Etiquette (noun) [refers to] conventional requirements as to social behavior; proprieties of conduct as established in any class or community or for any occasion. *According to Dictionary.com

As quoted from page 3 of My Wedding, 1952

"Wedding Etiquette...
Don't Struggle With Tradition
Wedding Customs are founded on traditions almost as old as civilization itself. They have continued to develop and change through the centuries and are now well defined. The protocol of modern marriage allows little innovation. You may choose almost any kind of wedding, at whatever budget you can afford, but once your basic decisions are made, you are pretty much circumscribed by the rules of etiquette. It is easy to abide by the conventions, though, and correct procedure enables everyone to play his part in the affair without embarrassing mistakes oversights or explanations.

You may run into the problem of conflict between wedding etiquette as laid down by recognized national authorities and the customs of your community, racial group or religion. Deciding which to follow can be very difficult and the choice can be made by you alone. It is usually best, however, to follow the customs of your own people."

2010
I disagree that the "protocols of marriage allow little innovation." Todays weddings are all about innovation, marriages under the sea, destination weddings, courthouse marriages, "post it note" weddings (Thanks to Grey's Anatomy's couple McDreamy & Doctor Grey). The art of a wedding is that we have the freedom now to be innovative, different & nontraditional!! In some ways I wish that we were more strongly ruled by the rules of etiquette...but I am a rule follower, and I appreciate the structure that etiquette brings. Then again, I do not know if I even considered the role of "the rules of etiquette" at my wedding. So, I would say that in 2010 we are not "circumscribed by the rules" as much as we are circumscribed by our own childhood wedding dreams.

Feel free to let me know what you think, and if you "Struggle with Tradition" More to come next time.....Jjay

1 comment:

  1. Do you still have this book available / know where I can find a copy of it?

    Thank you!!!

    ReplyDelete